The Life You Live

Hey, what’s going on?

Time.

Always time.

Trickling through your fingers.

An ‘expense account’.

A finite but unknowable measure of your life.

An allotment of existence.

Given to all.

Spend it wisely.

What do you do with life?

With your life?

We live. We exist, we breathe, we sleep, we eat, we work. We play.

Probably one of the most important philosophical question of the ages, pondered upon by billions and billions down through the ages of mankind. We all stare as far down this path as we dare, questioning, seeking, wondering, buffeted about by the toil and angst of life itself, but still knowing that we have not actually found the answer.

Philosophy, religion and sociology attempt to answer this great question. Ancient wisdom and new age teachings try to impart guidance to govern our lives. We seek solace, definition and purpose in their answers.

Depending on whom you’ve listened to, including yourself, the ways and means by which you spend your allotment are the boundaries of your existence. These expenditures define your existence, making up your moment by moment existence, a tapestry of time. Of your time. Always trickling through your fingers.

But do they define you?

The expected (and required) daily toil of this very existence subtracts its unfair share from our allotment. To sustain our existence, we engage in unending toil all the days of our lives. Caught in a trap of our own doing, we all come to realize that something is deeply, deeply wrong with this existence we call life.

What is the measure of one’s life? The length and breadth? The yardstick by which we measure our meaning, our self-worth, even our own selves, who and what we are? Our culture places supposed value on what’s new, on celebrities, on sport stars, but they all fade like the wind. Entertainment, pleasures, pursuits, arguments, what is their true profit to us? They control us, but do they define us?

Our time tapestry is intimately interwoven with many others, even millions of other lives, lived and spent on the same plane of existence as ours. Every single moment, every breath, every joy, every sorrow, all of it being spent together. Until one of us fades away, to be replaced by even more.

We are nearly blind to this incredible mosaic, the true and complete tapestry of all life and its existence, how it interweaves through the billions of lives that are at this very moment, in existence all around us. Our own boundaries are unassailable walls, prescribed immutable firmaments of our existence. False memories, every one of them.

The life you live. How is it spent? Being spent, right now, this very moment? Today? Tomorrow?

Everywhere around us all, there is life. All being spent, moment by moment. Seeds shoots down their roots into the soil, seeking nourishment, water. They grow, sending up stalk and trunk. Buds appear, branching out.  Leaves, flowers, fruit, grains appear.  Always towards the sun. Stretching toward light and life.  And in their season, they wither and they die, expending their allotment in accordance to their seed.

But what about your seed? Is the life you live in accordance to anything? Or is there something deeply, deeply wrong?

We are more then weapons of war, or consumers, or slave labor employed by faceless corporations, churning out more and more useless trinkets. Pushing paper, punching keyboards, clocking in.  Where is our root? Our leaves? The fruit? What field or forest wars against itself? Or pollutes its own soil? Or draws away all sustenance?

Of every creature that has ever existed upon this planet, there is but one that chooses to defy itself, bringing its own existence down, down, down, always down towards oblivion, slavery, the mindless existence of rote behavior and response. No other animal, fish or fowl, plant or creature does the same, yet our own DNA is scarcely different then theirs. Nor does any other lifeform enslave itself or any other thing. All draw sustenance and life from the same source. All rely upon the same things, yet we deny all this by our very thoughts, deeds, and actions.

We are more then economic units, hopelessly enslaved to endlessly toil for our daily sustenance, buying what was always free. This may be life, but it is not right. Its never been right either. It is deeply, deeply wrong. It is self-destructive. It is not happiness, nor peace, contentment, nor is it even healthy. It is a walking-death, the habitation of zombies. Always stumbling about, never entirely dead, seeking more and more and more, and endless shuffling walk towards what can never be satisfied, no matter how much is consumed.

That may be the life of millions, even billions, controlled, manipulated and virtually owned in every aspect of their existence, but it is not what we are. What we are is something else altogether different then anything most of us have ever actually experienced.

The human being is capable of incredible and absolutely amazing deeds. Compassion, generosity, nurturing, support, invention, medicine, science, innovation, all these things and so much more. Our capacity for good is actually quite incredible, given the chance. Each which could be given free license to operate, function and transform our entire society, removing boundaries and limitations, creating, giving and supporting life.

But as it turns out, we are even more capable of exactly the opposite behavior, of which there are endless examples. The only reason that this nature has not already completely overwhelmed the human race is because of the abundance of life that continues to exist around us (so far). We have managed to recover from our every folly and self-destructive ways only because of this.

It is our dark nature that reveals our true self. Despite our capabilities for good, what we really are is something else altogether. It is a path that is easily exploited by deception, manipulation, and propaganda. The truth is we are quite willing to engage in destruction, whether against humans, nature, the land or animals. We’re really not too picky. We’ve been doing it for many thousands of years, and only a lesser amount was actually necessary for our existence (sustenance). The rest is simply wanton destruction, every action justified by the very same institutions mentioned above that have attempted to define our existence. It then becomes apparent that it is no wonder that these institutions cannot provide us with any real answers, only more questions and many doubts.

We find that we must constantly struggle with the darkness we carry before it actually does finally overwhelm us. Many are the lives that have been brought to absolute ruin, having failed to win this battle within, exploding in violent confrontation without.  And many more are the victims of these who have been overwhelmed by these dark desires.  Hundreds of millions are now dead, cut off from the tapestry of time, their allotment of existence extinguished by our own hands.

Perhaps you had hoped for a different conclusion, a brighter assessment of what we are. I wish it were so. History is our guide, with the present day no exception. We cannot blame others for what we are, or even the propaganda machine, the manipulation, the orders received, or socio-economic conditions as making us what we actually are.  We are what we are, what we have always been. We are capable of so much more.

The life you live is up to you to define its boundaries. You can be a weapon or you can be a believer, or you can be a healer or you can be anything at all. You will probably be all of these and more, at different times, in different places, with different people and in different circumstances. You are what you are. But you do have control if you want it over much of it.  You do not have to follow the agenda of the ages.

What you do with your life defines your experiences, your knowledge, your gained wisdom. Your relationships, your strengths and your weaknesses. This becomes the you that is seen and known by other people, but deeper within there is another you still, hiding, lurking in the shadows.  This is the real you, the hidden man and from this source is where we find the real motivations, desires, and both good and evil. You really can spend your life doing good if you want.

The rest is illusion and self-deception. It’s a creation in your own mind, and that of the society, media and incessant programming going on all around you all the time. It is the inner-man that seeks to be appeased, but not in the natural sense. The other man, the outer shell is like a suit of clothes, easily discarded if desired, to be replaced at will with another suit. This is the suit that our corporations cater to, the one you feed, and clothe, and the only one you are supposed to know about. Your inner man exists whether you are hungry, cold, suffering or even happy.

To know your inner man is to finally know yourself. This is not easy. For some, it is not even recommended. The dark nature of man is within, it exists despite the other “self”, the outer shell. Most everything everyone knows deals with the other man, the other shell of self.  The life experience caters to this.

If mankind will continue to exist, it will only be because we have somehow restrained our own inner selves, giving rise to more good then evil. Or limited ourselves sufficiently enough so that others can take our place after we self-destruct. Both are happening right now. Both will probably happen into the foreseeable future. But there are no guarantees of course, we’ve already stacked the deck pretty badly against ourselves.

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