A true story submitted by Lonewolf, we’ve probably all got friends like this:
Today, I received (another) email from a friend of over 30 years basically saying (again) that “Global Warming” is a crock, fraud, hoax, lie, scam – aka utter bullshit.
I used to think this person was one of if not the most intelligence people I’d ever known. Man, was I wrong. I’m having a really hard time even believing this shit – wanting to think he’s just ‘pulling my leg’, ‘jerking my chain. Yet, I know that he is not. This ‘revelation’ is felt to be highly/personally disturbing on several levels/fronts.
I haven’t decided if I’ll even bother to reply to such overt nonsense (I haven’t in the past). But, if I did, it might go something like this: Sure! And (in no particular order) —
The Earth is flat – except for a few bumps (mountains) and dips (lakes, oceans).
The Sun goes around the Earth.
The climate can not be changed (e.g. ice does not reflect solar radiation back into space).
Oil is infinite in supply (and/or produced abiotically). There will be plenty to go around, forever, if we only drill faster/consume more.
The oceans have no need for phytoplankton, diatoms, mollusks, fish or coral – acid is fun (ask an old hippy).
Atmospheric composition of gasses has not ever changed and they never will because it just can’t (Jesus won’t allow it).
The Federal Reserve is owned & operated by the US Govt. and holds (protects) currency reserves.
Fractional reserve banking creates value, equity and equality – generates opportunity for all while combating poverty.
1st Millennia BCE voodoo mumbo jumbo hocus-pocus is the future ( a life worth having/ aspire too).
Foreign food ‘aid’ helps poor starving stupid dark-skinned farmers grow more for themselves.
There is a Federal Law which states that you must pay income taxes.
The Garden of Eden (and Tree of Knowledge) is just around the corner. All you have to do is wait for it.
The Laws of Physics were temporarily suspended on the morning of 9/11/2001 (including all rationality/credulity ever since).
19 cave-dwelling Satanic rag-heads armed w/box cutters defeated the entire US military in less than two hours.
Arsenic and Mercury in vaccines is good for you and small children.
Al Gore is a megalomaniac masochist with a Satanic secret agenda.
The USA is a democracy.
Our/my shit doesn’t stink (neither does that of Crap Corp, Inc.).
Animals have no feelings or any sense – only instinct.
The planet exists (was created) for our consumption.
Force (hegemony) results in democracy and pain results in freedom.
We in the US are the freest, healthiest, most educated/astute, kindest people/nation on the planet, ever.
When you die, you live forever.
Joseph Stalin, Pol Pot, Sadam Hussein and Mugabe are monsters. Dick Cheney is an altruist and George Bush is a (fucking) saint.
The Resident Puppetident in the White Wash was elected by the people (twice) and serves to protect you and uphold the Constitution.
Congress represents your interests while ensuring liberty and justice for all.
Puff the Magic Dragon is best friends with Tinkler Belle.
Driving a Hummer, Bentley, Ferrari, Lear Jet, etc. is your God-given right.
Sport teams and Hollywood celebrities are worthy of being worshipped.
Reptilian aliens have secretly taken over the planet (the Queen’s eggs have all hatched and Her Lizardship is greatly pleased).
Bankers and brokers are your real friends and have your best interest at heart.
If we want something (pray hard) enough we will get it because we deserve it.
The US Constitution is just “a God-damned piece of paper.”
You don’t need ‘no stinking’ Bill of Rights since you weren’t (are not) using them anyway.
Those who think and/or complain are “Terrorists”.
Osama Bin Laden receives weekly dialysis in his underground fortress at Tora Bora.
The boogie man under the bed is gonna get you if you don’t get him first.
New Orleans was destroyed by God because he hates faggots and niggers.
Food comes from grocery stores.
Human rights are never wrong.
The stock/commodity markets never lie and exist only to serve you.
Advertisers and marketers want you to be happy and content.
Animals ‘luv’ (exist) to be killed and consumed by us – the only sentient life.
If food becomes too expense, you can always eat gold (or fiat currency).
Nuclear warheads make you, your children and the whole world safe.
George Bush has regular conversations with God. Praise the Lord (how awesome).
God has chosen (aka the people s’elect/ed) our most favored honorable tyrants.
God luvs Corporations as much if not more as people. To Hell with the Planet.
Most of our (US) oil just happens to lie under the Middle East.
Hydrogen fueled vehicles are coming soon to a dealers lots near you.
6.7 Billion humans just isn’t enough.
Jesus saves (loves you) and shall return in glory soon.
Torture is fun and water boarding isn’t torture.
Habeas corpus is an unjust and stupid concept.
The police are here/exist to protect and serve.
American agriculture feeds the world.
North America was not inhabited when white-man ‘discovered’ it. Finders keepers.
The US Government cares about and is protecting you day and night.
The US Government is fighting against demonic terrorists.
Conspicuous consumption is your God given right.
Spying on your every word/act makes you secure.
Thought criminals are a serious threat to freedom, liberty and justice.
Certain plants are pure evil (pharmaceutical companies are here to save you).
Conservative Republicans are true patriots and liberal Democrats are intellectual terrorists.
People feel and think and (but) animals don’t – being too stupid to know pain.
Humans are true beings and all other life forms are species (waiting to be consumed).
Rush Limbaugh is a true genius despite his being destitute.
God blessed America, home of the free and the brave.
Grass doesn’t grow in black peoples (or Arab’s) yards.
God gave Israel to the Jewish people in perpetuity (and no other Semites).
Bad things happen to bad people.
Zionist Neocon Nazi’s are here (exist) to help you.
My God (ego-inflation via mass consumption) is an awesome God (pass the butter).
Happy ever after is a basic human right (if you happen to be white).
Reality is what you want to happen (hope for).
Humans were made in God’s image and likeness.
Gravity does not suck, therefore perpetual motion is real.
Arabs are not Semites but Persians are.
There is but one True religion – (and no other God’s before me).
Consumption and pollution are all the fault of those evil Chinese heathens.
God is good and so are His chosen people (those that believe/act in his name).
Species/mass extinctions are very good for humanity – leaves more for us and is just part of God’s divine plan.
If (when) every one believes in Lord Jesus, the world will know (be at) peace.
Allah is actually Satan with his horns concealed by rags.
The Holy Bible is God’s inerrant word (dictated by Him personally).
Good (God’s) people live for ever and ever.
The future is so bright I HAVE to wear shades .
Depravity and cruelty are righteous if you are saved (born again).
The Earth is 6,000 years old (fossils are the Devil’s trickery which God permits to test our faith.
Too many evil-doers claim (have) too much oil.
S/He who dies with the most stuff (shit) wins.
The Wholly Babble is Divine inspiration and infallible, so help me God (aka, means precisely what I think I think).
Militant ignorance is Bliss.
Evolution is a myth created by deviant heretics (slimy scientists) to confuse and test the faithful (identify the true believers).
Might makes right (yet, the meek shall inherit the Earth).
It is easier for a rich man to pass through the eye of a needle than to enter the Kingdom of God (which is why they all have confirmed first-class
reservations and are pre-boarding).
It’s not suicide or extinction when Capitalism does it.
Hope is Eternal reality.
Wanton delusion is truth is power.
Trust in the Lord (and reward/honor/love his servants).
Cognitive dissonance is a well-proven survival stratagem.
Willful denial solves every problem.
Hope floats and shit sinks.
Atonement yields Redemption.
Absolution is Righteousness.
Faith is fact.
Causation is ineffectual.
Selfishness is Righteous.
To Sin is them.
Evil is Other (I am not other).
Torture is Divine (inspirational, too).
Evil is (Liberal) Intelligence.
Freedom is Slavery.
Ignorance is Strength.
War is Peace.
God is Love.
ad infinitum (have to stop someplace ntm eat, shit and puke)
Okay, move on.
Nothing to see.You are fine.
Go back to sleep.
Oil’s well that ends Hell.
It is a tragic reminder of our day and age (and intelligence) that the premises by which we live (and die) by are sacrosanct and ‘irrefutable facts’. Lead us not into intelligence, but into willfully blind ignorance.
How many assumptions are there that make America what it is today? Undoubtedly many, many more.
My summary: learn to think for yourself.