For Sale

I’m going to put several things up for sale.  Two will be auctioned to high bidder, the other is a first come, first serve basis.  Here they are:

  • Integrity – Due to the constant pressure to “conform” to the dictates of society, this will be the first up on the auction block (high bidder).

I think this makes sense to be the first item offered up for sale, as you will see, most everything else follows in logical order.

Who wants to make me an offer?  The winning bidder will need no qualifications except money (and lots of it, I ain’t selling it cheap).

Over the years (fifteen, although I’m a lot older then that!) a lot of people have sought to buy my integrity, so this will be the first to go.  Once this is sold, I will conform to the norms and standards of society (promise).  In effect, I’ll become just like the people who have sought to buy this from me in the past.  You won’t even know I’m there!

Second item up for sale:

  • Truth and Honesty – Since my integrity will be sold to the highest bidder, I’ve no more use for truth or honesty either.  But no cheapskates, okay?  It makes no clear sense to let either of these go too cheap, so make a fair and honest offer and you’ll be well on your way.

Any bids?

If this helps, I’ll sweeten the deal:

  • If you’re the high bidder on both auctions (minimum bid $13,000,000), I’ll toss in a 600 acre Survival Acres Ranch.  Complete with two wells, year-round creek, a three bedroom house and two guest cabins.  There’s a pond too and a greenhouse and garden.  You’ll be all set, and semi self-sufficient!

However, if there isn’t a single high bidder for both auctions (same bidder) — I’m going to sell the Ranch too in separate “lots” (explained below).  The qualifications are the same, you’ve got to have lots of money.  Anybody (with money) can buy a “seat at the table” at the Ranch:

  • The Ranch

For the low, low price of $155,000 (per acre, each), you can have your own five-acre “spread” on the Ranch.  At your expense, you can build whatever you want — even a spaceport if you like (for when the aliens land).  You could even start a landfill!

For the really adventurous and well-to-do, I recommend you buy several of the surrounding five-acre spreads (to keep the neighbors at bay and to invite your friends up).  A discounted price of $145,000 per acre will be given to buyers of 5 spreads or more.

For the really thoughtful (and well-to-do), you could string together your spreads into a 1,000 yard rifle range, not really all that hard to do.  This would give you plenty of opportunity to practice for that “takeover” (or revolution) everybody keeps talking about.

Oh, I almost forgot — there is another 66 acres available bordering the Ranch. I don’t think you’d have to sell your soul to buy this parcel either.  And a minimum of 5 spreads must be sold.

As for me, assuming everything has sold — I’ll stop blogging (promise), close the business, and disappear to parts unknown, where I won’t bother anybody anymore.  I’ll take my “profits” and go live the high life, making my fair share of carbon contribution to the planetary biosphere before I die.  I might even buy a Dodge truck (with monster tires).

I know this sounds a bit lame — but give me some time, and I’ll figure it out (anybody got any website on how to zombify oneself?)

Ok, so I hope I’ve made this clear.  Two auctions for now and we’ll see how it goes.  Then if these fail, I’ll put the Ranch up for sale.  Pre-bids on the Ranch lots are being accepted now.

The auctions will run through the month of October, 2010.  And waddaya know?  It’s October 1st today, so this is perfect!

The fine print (required by law I think):

  • All bids are non-refundable and payable in cash, gold or silver within 7 days.
  • All promises to “buy” are binding — whether or not you’ve sent in your payment or not.

Any questions can be sent in by email (see contact page on the main website).

Be SURE you ask your questions BEFORE the auctions close!  After that, I cannot guarantee the accuracy or truthfulness of my answers!

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