Today I had my Moh’s surgery. Actually, I had to have two of them. The first go-around didn’t make a large enough perimeter around the DFSP, so this had to be made larger. These two procedures took over 8 hours today. The lab has to test the removed specimens for cancer, so in between cutting operations, you just wait.
This is the first patch – we weren’t able to get a picture of the first surgery (undressed wound):
This is the second surgery – it’s a huge hole. It won’t be grafted closed until Wednesday. It’s pretty painful.
This is the “map” drawn by the doctors of where the DFSP still is (they still haven’t gotten it all). The next surgery is reconstruction / skin graft and they will go even deeper to remove the remaining DFSP:
I had to go through with this surgery despite my inability to pay. If the cancer wasn’t removed now, it would get worse and all of the tests performed would be wasted (they would have to be repeated later) and the travel to the Mayo Clinic would also be a wash. The costs have continued to climb, so far, I’ve had paid them just over $83,000. I have tried everything I can to negotiate something with the Clinic, but they have refused everything. Either prepay – or go home.
I knew in advance that this wasn’t going to be cheap, or free, or charitable which is why my wife started the GofFundMe campaign, but this brought in $2011 in 30 days. 7% goes to the GoFundMe folks, so it’s actually less then that.
So let me be honest here: Why have 99.99% of my readers refused to provide me with any support? Some of you have been reading this blog for years, with some of you claiming over a ten year readership and have never once given me any assistance. There’s over 300,000 blog views now, which only represents the readership since 2011 – but the blog goes back to 2005 with over 2400 posts.
Not $1 dollar has been offered by over 99.99% of you when I needed it most. The “impossible situation” I was in was either find a way to get this surgery now, or waste the entire trip / tests / examinations and start over someplace else some other time. Or do nothing at all and let this get even worse.
If 1000 people had given just $1 or $5, this would have helped immensely and avoided some costly decisions I’ve had to make. I had to prepay for this in full – and to do so, I’ve now had to liquidate my remaining assets at fire sale prices and borrow money.
I also do not know of any promotion of this situation being picked up by anyone and shared despite my requests for help in sharing story. Only one person (from Thailand) has written to me in the past two weeks while this was all unfolding.
I feel totally unappreciated to be honest. Most of you seem to think that your non-participation in this blog and my request for help is okay. Probably not what some of you want to hear, but then again, I’ve never pretended that my words were comfortable for most. I’ve got virtually nothing left to lose now, so I’m laying it on the line here.
Survival Acres (the food business) was not sold – it was given away, so there was nothing I profited from. I have no income, no retirement, no insurance, no disability to fall back on. I’ll be the first to admit that this is “not your problem” so do as you please. But I will also say that it is the near-total lack of support that has caused me deep reflection upon what I’m doing here and why I even bothered helping all those people over the years. It’s certainly not being reciprocated.
Those 21 of you that HAVE stepped up – Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You got me here – and that was a big, big help.